I came to the realization that I was nowhere near how good I could be, and that I hadn't actually tapped ALL of my former coaches' knowledge. And even if I did, if I had gotten to the point where he could not teach me more or improve my game, it would have been totally understandable to seek someone else out.
I think that still applies here. Become as good as possible, and seek out better fencers and coaches as required. Like, duh right?
Still, it's going to come down to my putting the time in, and being super honest competitively. Better start sniffing around now. I have tournaments in the Fall!
--MCSM
Monday, June 6, 2011
Friday, June 3, 2011
Take THAT, Dead Horse!
So I reluctantly publicly comment on the state of my health. Very slow going, but not getting worse? Ugh, why even write about it? But I feel incidentally good about starting anew yet again. Fall seven times, get up eight I guess. I'm reluctant to write about health anymore, at least personal health, because so much of an entry like this requires me to set up a conflict to over come. I've felt for a long time that personal blogging can become a substitute for progress. If I'm sitting in front of my computer, then I'm not being active, and therefore if I'm putting words on the page, it sure looks like I've broken through the pre-contemplation stage to the great beyond of personal success.
Fitness does not feel like a health blog, though it can. It is a feeling. I feel it going away already, like someone telling you what to do. I resent when someone tells me how to be healthy, and I don't know why, but it is a feeling shared by many. When I tell it to myself it becomes a self-loathing process. Is this a bizarre form of psychopathy? I have no idea. But all the tough love and public goal setting doesn't really help. It feels like it does. It may provide a clue as to the orientation of the attribution of my health status, but it is not my health, which is important to remember. I suppose I'm talking to you as well, if you're reading this.
You don't read a lot about people who fail their health quests. Actually, you almost never read about a health blog unless someone was always healthy or formerly unhealthy. Unless you're Ruby. Then you're on your way.
I'm hardly at "Ruby" status. But my identity as a (cough, former, cough) athlete is in tatters, and it's tough to move with any kind of certainty. If you've come this far then you're entertaining the thought of my deficiencies, so deal. I don't want this to be about "poor me I had a Big Mac." So why bother writing? This really is therapeutic. In my own desire for attention and approval, it's an exercise in restraint to NOT tell those most intimate to me that I update it. Like a cryptic facebook status about some people, I have thrown this into a corner of cyberspace for the occasional bored browser, a cyber-addict like me, to click through, highlight, forget, re-read, and move on.
That seems scathing and perhaps unfair. I'm not pessimistic, but I AM trying to be realistic while also maintaining a sense of hope and momentum. I probably shouldn't read books about whether or not we have Free Will during this endeavor. Once I found out being an athlete was a choice it almost killed me. So much of my identity is soldiering on because I have to. A cause projected onto an arbitrary activity can be liberating provided you don't know it's malleable. That shouldn't diminish the meaning, but for me it somehow does. A rebel with out a cause. Or something.
So even though I might sound like a late-20-something clinging desperately to the youthful version of a former self, here goes another round of healthy living. I suppose as a P.E. teacher it's appropriate to function in units that are only a few weeks long before switching to something else. Okay I'm done with that joke, and that attitude.
The best time to start a diet is tomorrow. No more food for me tonight, and a healthy weekend ahead. Let's see how it goes. SMART goal number one: Keep under 2,000 calories and burn 300 through activity tomorrow. SMART goal number two: Wake up before 8am on the weekends. And so on.
Peace,
MCSM
Fitness does not feel like a health blog, though it can. It is a feeling. I feel it going away already, like someone telling you what to do. I resent when someone tells me how to be healthy, and I don't know why, but it is a feeling shared by many. When I tell it to myself it becomes a self-loathing process. Is this a bizarre form of psychopathy? I have no idea. But all the tough love and public goal setting doesn't really help. It feels like it does. It may provide a clue as to the orientation of the attribution of my health status, but it is not my health, which is important to remember. I suppose I'm talking to you as well, if you're reading this.
You don't read a lot about people who fail their health quests. Actually, you almost never read about a health blog unless someone was always healthy or formerly unhealthy. Unless you're Ruby. Then you're on your way.
I'm hardly at "Ruby" status. But my identity as a (cough, former, cough) athlete is in tatters, and it's tough to move with any kind of certainty. If you've come this far then you're entertaining the thought of my deficiencies, so deal. I don't want this to be about "poor me I had a Big Mac." So why bother writing? This really is therapeutic. In my own desire for attention and approval, it's an exercise in restraint to NOT tell those most intimate to me that I update it. Like a cryptic facebook status about some people, I have thrown this into a corner of cyberspace for the occasional bored browser, a cyber-addict like me, to click through, highlight, forget, re-read, and move on.
That seems scathing and perhaps unfair. I'm not pessimistic, but I AM trying to be realistic while also maintaining a sense of hope and momentum. I probably shouldn't read books about whether or not we have Free Will during this endeavor. Once I found out being an athlete was a choice it almost killed me. So much of my identity is soldiering on because I have to. A cause projected onto an arbitrary activity can be liberating provided you don't know it's malleable. That shouldn't diminish the meaning, but for me it somehow does. A rebel with out a cause. Or something.
So even though I might sound like a late-20-something clinging desperately to the youthful version of a former self, here goes another round of healthy living. I suppose as a P.E. teacher it's appropriate to function in units that are only a few weeks long before switching to something else. Okay I'm done with that joke, and that attitude.
The best time to start a diet is tomorrow. No more food for me tonight, and a healthy weekend ahead. Let's see how it goes. SMART goal number one: Keep under 2,000 calories and burn 300 through activity tomorrow. SMART goal number two: Wake up before 8am on the weekends. And so on.
Peace,
MCSM
Monday, March 28, 2011
I seem to be keeping under a 2000 cal/day diet. That is a challenge for me, but lately it hasn't been too bad. I was genuinely inspired by Anna's "volumetrics" TV Spot awhile ago--It really is better to eat a bunch of fruits and veggies and high-water things than to drop 500 calories on a single burrito at Taco Bell.
I've been doing calisthenics a lot, which is new to me, but it is enjoyable. I like that I'm feeling stronger. I've woken up on the right side of 220 for a few mornings in a row now, which tells me I'm making progress. I think the 210's is where I don't look enormous. While I still fall off the truck now and then, it's interesting to me that I can almost sense when momentum happens. I feel like I'm back on a healthy track again.
Trying to put more fruits and veggies in my diet--eating broccoli or a Green Giant steamer whenever I can--making myself eat apples and tangerines whether I want to or not. It's funny there because I never don't enjoy them, but I don't want to start eating them. Like ripping off a band-aid or something bizarre like that.
Anyway, I've been doing a lot of yoga lately, some weight lifting, and calisthenics. I know that I need more aerobics in there. Fencing will do that tomorrow. Which reminds me, I need to order some gear soon. It will be nice to own that again. Then I can just wander into any club and get some practice in.
I wonder if it's true that it is cheaper to eat more healthy or less healthy. I wonder if $1.00 cheeseburger is really cheaper than beef and a loaf of bread plus toppings. But then, how sustainable is it, personally or environmentally to have a diet like that?
When I deprive myself of bad food or opportunities to get bad food, I become healthy. When I have a wad of cash burning a hole through my pocket, I eat poorly. It's the same when I visit home or other places. I've been trying to eat canned vegetables and fruits before they go bad, and it makes me eat them, which is really good for me. I will try to keep this up--I need to be careful about skimping on things I will eat and are good for me, and also be careful about splurging on things that are awful for me.
For example, a type of fruit may be expensive, but if I eat it, then it's worth it, no?
I need to say the same thing to myself about classes and exercise--if I participate, how bad can it be?
--Of course, is that any way for someone who wants to earn their USFA rating to talk? Oi... London in 1.5 years. Wowee.
--MCSM
I've been doing calisthenics a lot, which is new to me, but it is enjoyable. I like that I'm feeling stronger. I've woken up on the right side of 220 for a few mornings in a row now, which tells me I'm making progress. I think the 210's is where I don't look enormous. While I still fall off the truck now and then, it's interesting to me that I can almost sense when momentum happens. I feel like I'm back on a healthy track again.
Trying to put more fruits and veggies in my diet--eating broccoli or a Green Giant steamer whenever I can--making myself eat apples and tangerines whether I want to or not. It's funny there because I never don't enjoy them, but I don't want to start eating them. Like ripping off a band-aid or something bizarre like that.
Anyway, I've been doing a lot of yoga lately, some weight lifting, and calisthenics. I know that I need more aerobics in there. Fencing will do that tomorrow. Which reminds me, I need to order some gear soon. It will be nice to own that again. Then I can just wander into any club and get some practice in.
I wonder if it's true that it is cheaper to eat more healthy or less healthy. I wonder if $1.00 cheeseburger is really cheaper than beef and a loaf of bread plus toppings. But then, how sustainable is it, personally or environmentally to have a diet like that?
When I deprive myself of bad food or opportunities to get bad food, I become healthy. When I have a wad of cash burning a hole through my pocket, I eat poorly. It's the same when I visit home or other places. I've been trying to eat canned vegetables and fruits before they go bad, and it makes me eat them, which is really good for me. I will try to keep this up--I need to be careful about skimping on things I will eat and are good for me, and also be careful about splurging on things that are awful for me.
For example, a type of fruit may be expensive, but if I eat it, then it's worth it, no?
I need to say the same thing to myself about classes and exercise--if I participate, how bad can it be?
--Of course, is that any way for someone who wants to earn their USFA rating to talk? Oi... London in 1.5 years. Wowee.
--MCSM
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Trying to keep at or under 2000 calories per day. I think my major cheats today was having an extra helping of Triscuits (man, two blog entries in a row where I cite that as something I can't resist... good PR?) and of course I'm slowwwwly taking down Anna's mother's cheesecake. Edit: I've slowwwwly finished Anna's mother's cheesecake.
Today's damage:
Banana + Nature's valley for breakfast: 350
Tuna sandwich + Soup for lunch: 400 + 120= 520
Pasta + Veggies for dinner + Grapes: 350+120+ 150= 620
1490
Triscuit snacks (250)
Ugh, do I have to count the cheesecake? (250)
Still nailed under 2000 somehow hahaha.
Better not ruin that.
K, time for hot tea and bed. This morning's weight: 224.
Today's damage:
Banana + Nature's valley for breakfast: 350
Tuna sandwich + Soup for lunch: 400 + 120= 520
Pasta + Veggies for dinner + Grapes: 350+120+ 150= 620
1490
Triscuit snacks (250)
Ugh, do I have to count the cheesecake? (250)
Still nailed under 2000 somehow hahaha.
Better not ruin that.
K, time for hot tea and bed. This morning's weight: 224.
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